Our Private Adoption just went Open

What a week it has been! I will never forget this week!

Thursday night I went online to check the usage status of our cell phones. I saw all of these calls that Ryan was making to an unknown number at odd hours of the night. WHAT?! I called him in and asked him about it.

After a bit of lying he admitted he was calling his birth mother. He traced her through the Internet and located her and has been calling her all week.

He's 16, but he's very emotionally immature and we didn't want to deal with this until he was 18 yrs but that's been taken out of our hands now.

Thursday night was a really bad night in our house. Really bad. I slept about 1 hr towards morning. Friday I could hardly function. I didn't eat a crumb all day until supper when I ate a soft chicken taco. I just couldn't eat.

We finally all calmed down and we've talked and set up some rules. I gave Ryan a picture of his birth-mother. He's allowed to call her once a week on a set day and if he calls any other time she is to call him on it and report it to me. I talked to her for 1 1/2 hrs. on Saturday.

I'm so happy for him. All of his doubts about his being "rejected" are gone. He actually knows his birthmother and birthfather's names! He's learning about his heritage.

But Jim & I are still scared. Scared of losing him.

I don't feel like I'm his only mother now. I'm having to share him and that's hard. On the other hand, no one can love him like a mother and he's got the love of two mothers. You can't ever have too much love.

But it's hard. Good, but hard...

Thank you for your prayers!