Favorite Lauren story

Lauren had a great sense of humor.  This was one of my favorite stories that she told.  I’ve laughed over it with several families members in the 2 years since she wrote it.

Something's Fishy

This afternoon I stopped at the pet store to pick up some food for my critters. I decided it was time to add some new fish to my aquarium. I purchased three blood fin tetras. The helpful salesclerk put them in the plastic baggie, squirted in some air and tied the top tightly with one of those itty bitty rubber bands that never seem to let go once they're on.
I proceeded to the counter to pay for my new fish. From there I drove to Target to get a b-day present for my sister. I didn't plan on being in there very long, but I didn't want to just leave the fish in the car. That seemed cruel. So I put the whole thing into my purse, which is one of those big tote-bag style numbers. What could it hurt, right?
As I was walking down the aisle of CDs looking for an Aerosmith album, I noticed that my hip felt moist. I was wearing a bulky sweater and a jacket, so I just assumed I was getting sweaty. Coming around the corner was a customer in one of those go-kart things, so I pulled my big purse closer to my body to allow her to pass. That's when I saw it--a small but steady trickle of water coming from the corner of my purse.
My initial thought was to abandon my shopping, run to the car and get home quickly before I had 3 tiny casualties on my hands (or, in my purse, rather.) That wouldn't solve the problem of the leaking bag, and I'd only end up making my car seat wet in the process. My next thought was to get a bucket or travel mug to put them in, but that seemed gross. The cup didn't seem like a bad idea, however.
I hot-footed it to the little concession area in the store and asked the clerk for just an empty cup with a lid. When she gave me a quizzical look I almost said "my water broke" which I'm sure would have made her look at me even more strangely. I held up the ever-shriveling bag that contained the fish and said "Please, I need a big cup! My fish are leaking!" She handed it over and pointed toward the counter where the lids, straws and napkins were kept.
Placing the cup on a table, I quickly but carefully struggled to pull that little rubber band off the baggie. Stupid rubber band! Finally, it came loose and I poured my 3 frightened fishies into the cup. As I fastened the lid securely in place, I noticed a woman watching me with quite an odd expression. She was probably wondering if she had in fact just witnessed a young woman pouring 3 fish into a soda cup. Her mouth was agape, so I decided to give her a good show. I grabbed a straw, unwrapped it, slid it into the cup and pretended to take a sip.
"Beats Starbucks any day," I commented as I walked past her.
She's probably still sitting there, eyes and mouth wider than a codfish.
Lauren