To transplant or not to transplant

that is the question. Eventually CFers are faced with this question and decision. Everyone has to decide what is right for themselves.

I had decided against a transplant for myself.

Until this past Thursday when I watched a CF Webcast.

My former CF doctor at Johns Hopkins was addressing the topic. I submitted the question "If you are 50, is your outcome expected to be as positive as someone younger?" And they asked my question!

That was ME, Dr. Boyle! Hi, Dr. Boyle! I miss you! I still remember that time you prayed with me during my appointment because I was so worried about my son. (By the way, you are just as handsome and kind and sweet as ever!)

Sorry. I got side-tracked there.

The positive answer got me reconsidering whether I should consider it. Maybe I SHOULD go through the transplant evaluation next time the CF doctor brings it up.

Then my cold got worse. (Did I tell you that I got Ryan's cold this week?)

And I remember why I didn't want a transplant.

When I am really sick, I usually feel so horrible and so tired of being sick that I just want to die. I am just so consumed with how my ribs are hurting from coughing and how hard it is to get my breath back and breathe, how my head is splitting, and how my head hurts WORSE when I cough...WHICH IS CONSTANTLY. Every breath I want to cough. And did I mention how bad it HURTS to cough??????

Anyway, after your transplant you have to go through pain and discomfort and a lot of work to "come back." It takes a big will to live. And I just don't think I'd have that, considering how I feel like giving up each time I get sick anymore.

So that's why I've opted to not have the transplant.

Besides, when you're a Christian why would you want to stay HERE

and prolong going HERE??